We do it every year. I say ‘we’ because I’m in the same boat. We make New Years Resolutions for the new year. You’ve probably shared your resolutions with someone for accountability. How many resolutions have you achieved? Any happy dances from crossing off a resolution from your list?
Yeah, I know. It goes like that. Trouble is; you can’t blame anyone, can you? You didn’t necessarily know how to approach the resolution seriously. You didn’t ‘change’; less weight, more money, greater achievement; they didn’t happen because you didn’t change. How the heck do you do that?! I have good news; it’s simple but not easy.
A. Recognize/accept you’re not ‘complete’; you’re not done. We grow our entire lives and you choose that growth. Completing “school” didn’t absolve you of learning. Not choosing equals negative growth. Life is a moving sidewalk. If you stand still, you move backward.
B. Recognize/accept your ‘knowledge’ is largely erroneous. Much of what we believe true is either misinformed, out-dated or a confused assumption. Metaphor and poetry was connoted as fact rather than denoted as reference. It doesn’t matter how it was acquired. You have to accept your beliefs are probably due for a rethink (and a serious power-wash).
C. Recognize/accept you’re not going to ‘make it happen’ by yourself. No matter the resolution, you will benefit from the prior experience of others who’ve gone there before.
This bit is HARD. No way around it. Our nature is to believe our knowledge supreme and we hold to our level of competence confidently. If we’re honest, that’s BS. Once you’re beyond the point of defending these delusions, you are more than halfway there. You can’t learn to use a new tool if you’re unwilling to let go of the old/wrong one. Take a child-like approach and curiosity to the next three steps; if you are delighted and surprised with what you learn, it’ll stick.
- Be willing to go back to ‘school’. Read. Learn. Watch videos. Meditate on your challenges and ask yourself the tough questions. You’ll be glad you did.
- Be willing to make new habits and learn new things. Achieving goals isn’t impossible but achieving them with wrong knowledge is. Learn about how your brain works; it’s not rock solid but warm plastic. Reshape it.
- Seek out those who have accomplished their goals, especially when they failed dozens of times before accomplishing it. Learn what the turning point was for them. You’ll find remarkable similarities to your experience and gain understanding of how to get beyond the stumbling blocks of the past.
This is the easy part. You’ve probably never gotten to steps 1,2 and 3 because you’re unwilling to let go of A,B or C. I won’t tell anyone that you’re not already 100% done, 100% infallible or 100% independent. Oh, wait; I’ve got no room to talk! 😉 Surrendering to being ‘wrong’ or ‘weak’ is an incredibly powerful thing. You will be able to bring about your resolutions and grow as a person. If you find the ABC steps daunting, break them up into bite-sized pieces. You’ve got time! Your desire to make your resolution starts with letting go.
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